As a Christian young man, and as a minister of the gospel, I unashamedly admit that when I am married I want my wife to be a housewife. By saying this, I risk offending the sensitivities of quite a few people. When men say that they want their ladies to be stay-at-home wives, people tend to retort with something like, “Men are just trying to keep women down”. It’s as if people assume that staying at home somehow lessens a woman’s value. It doesn’t. Being a housewife is a biblical role for a godly woman.
Titus 2:4-5 instructs women “to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands”; and women are supposed to conduct themselves this way “that the word of God be not blasphemed”. In other words, if women don’t follow these precepts, there is the potential that they will bring shame on God’s word. Obeying these instructions allows women to bless their households and to protect God’s word from slander. I want to make just a few remarks on this passage in general, and then focus on the topic of stay-at-home wives in particular.
In the original Greek New Testament, the phrase “love their husbands” is actually only one word, φιλανδρος; and the same goes for “love their children”, φιλοτεκνος. In English “love their husbands” and “love their children” are verb phrases—things that people do; but in Greek φιλανδρος and φιλοτεκνος are adjectives—things that people are. Sometimes it is easy for Christians to be so busy doing what we should that we forget to be who we should. A Christian woman should love their husband and love their children until loving them becomes part of who she is as a person. What she does should be identical to who she is.
In a secular or non-Christian context, φιλανδρος can actually have the meaning or connotation of a woman that is lewd, lustful, impure, or “loose”. Obviously, when God tells women “to love their husbands” he is NOT telling them to be promiscuous! This very passage instructs women to be chaste! But perhaps this domain in the meaning of φιλανδρος still deserves noticing. The only love affair that a lady of the Lord should ever have is with her husband. She should be his passionate lover. Christian women should love their husbands until it is almost scandalous.
Titus 2:4-5 tells women to be sober (serious) and discreet (wise); but it also tells them to obey their husbands. These two things are hard to balance. There will be times when a Christian woman disagrees with her husband. And she will be right. In those times it is very important that she is respectful to him. As long as she is obedient, he will eventually figure out that she was right and that he needs her discretion and advice.
Now let’s turn our attention to the phrase “keepers at home”. This statement plainly teaches that women should stay at home and take care of the house. I understand that there are situations (single mothers, widowhood, disabled husband, and such) where this is not doable. But in a home where the husband is working, women should not work outside of the house. Any job that a woman has should be done from home; and even then, only if it does not take her away from her household duties.
The phrase “keepers at home” is a single word in Greek, οικουρος. Thayer’s Greek-English Lexicon of the New Testament defines this word as “the (watch or) keeper of a house…keeping at home and taking care of household affairs, domestic”. The KJV translates οικουρος as “keepers at home”; but some other interesting translations exist for this word. The Geneva Bible (1557) translates it as “abiding at home”, the Rheims Bible (1582) has “having a care of the house” here, and the Bishop’s Bible (1568) translates οικουρος as “house keepers”. My favorite rendering of οικουρος is probably the one found in Tyndale’s New Testament (1534): “housewifely”. It should be apparent that οικουρος “keepers at home” refers to ladies who stay at home, care for and keep the house, and are housewives for their husbands.
Just to summarize this point, the Liddell-Scott-Jones Greek lexicon tells us this about οικουρος: it meant “watching or keeping the house”, it referred to the “mistress of the house”, and it was a compliment “used in praise of a good wife”. Interestingly enough, calling a man οικουρος was an insult, “used…contemptuously of a man: stay-at-home [as opposed to] one who goes forth to war”. It is God’s plan for women to stay at home, not men. If a woman’s husband is disabled and cannot work, that is an entirely different situation. But under normal circumstances, God intends that men work outside the home and women be “keepers at home”.
Why ought women to be what God describes in Titus 2; do you remember? So that “the word of God be not blasphemed. A woman who stays at home is better able to devote herself to loving her husband and children, blessing her family and protecting God’s word from slander. I am just simple enough to believe that God’s way is the best way. I want a wife that will love me and my children, that will be wise but not contentious; that’s why I want a housewife.
11 thoughts on “Why I Want A Housewife”
Question: Do you also believe that women should not be teachers in church?
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The purpose of this post was to discuss women’s role in their homes and families, not to make any claims about women’s ministry within the church. But this is a very good question! Perhaps I will make a post on that topic some time soon.
Okay cool, will be looking forward to it.
what if the woman is a doctor,nurse or surgeon?
The purpose of this post was to discuss what the Bible says about a woman and her place in the home. Biblically speaking, if a woman has a job she should work from home. I don’t think that a woman could be a surgeon and a housewife at the same time; conducting surgery in a private home would be very risky business!
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so what job would recommend for housewives?
A good many of the housewifely women that I know are extremely talented seamstresses, crafters, interior designers, or musicians. A lady could easily sell custom-designed clothing, teach music, or any number of such things from her home. Proverbs 31 would be a good passage to consult on the topic of women working from home.
Honestly, the only recommendation that this site has for anyone is to live Biblically. With that in mind, any job that blesses a woman’s home and husband financially, and that doesn’t take her away from her God-given position within the home, is fair game.
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well those are pretty good skills and i wish you good luck with your blog.
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I find your blog a bit troubling to be honest. I respect that you have decided this for yourself. I personally will not be a stay at home wife for myself someday unless I choose to do so, not because my husband tells me to do so. Your suggesting that a woman place is strictly at home, and cannot do anything outside the home. I think that seems restricting to a woman especially if that is not her desire. I have seen men justify themselves through the bible to demand respect and turn the blame on their wives for not being “submissive” , without giving thought to their own actions of being rude, careless and unloving to her. Respect goes both ways. A man cannot force a woman to submit or obey him any more than a woman can make a man love her and lay down his life for her.
If God brings someone in your life that does not necessarily want to be a housewife, but is a good woman who loves God with her heart, I pray that you don’t use the word of God to change her to form into what you want. That is not your job, and it would be manipulation because you are using the word of God to do it. If this is a choice you make, you may feel justified in doing so because its Gods word (how can anyone argue with that?) but as soon as you do this then you will no longer be acting in love toward your sister in christ. You are not her God to try to change her. The Lord is the only one that can do that kind of work in any woman and as you suggest a woman has to trust the Lord that he will speak on her behalf to her husband, you need to trust in the Lord about whatever woman he brings in your path.
As a woman, if I were marred to you I would feel like I wouldn’t be able to speak my mind in this way. I feel like my opinion would be disrespected because I am not meeting the standard that you want based on Gods word. Then, I would feel worse because it looks like its Gods word against mine. That kind of attitude and approach is not love. I dated a man like that and if feels oppressive because he used his own knowledge of the word (which I lacked) against me. Its was a horrible experience.
I mean no offense to you. I just hope you see from a woman’s perspective that disagrees with you, but since you know the word you may find my post as holding no weight. I have seen to many men get prideful in their knowledge of Gods word that they forget to love.
Thank you for your comment! Obviously we are on opposite sides of the issue, and that is OK. But do give me a chance to respond to some of your concerns.
Lectionary’s purpose is to see what the Bible says and what it means. This site really only has only one suggestion: live Biblically. As Christians, we should try to obey what God has revealed in his word. Yes, I do say that women should be stay-at-home wives and mothers. But that is what the Bible says.
I am not suggesting that men force women to be at home unwillingly or that they should demand quote/unquote “submission”. Respect is a two-way street and God commands husbands to love and respect their wives: “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it” (Eph. 3:25), “Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife” (1 Peter 3:7). I am not saying anyone should force anyone to do anything; I am only saying what the Bible says.
I am sorry that you had a bad experience with a man who tried to change you with the Bible. Those situations can be quite bothersome, granted. I am not suggesting that men beat women over the head with the Bible; but it is a husband’s God-given duty to help his wife become a woman who is pleasing to God (Eph. 5:25-27). If you, or I, or anyone else holds a view that is contrary to Scripture then we are the ones who need to change, not God.
I agree that many men (and many women) use their knowledge of God’s word to become proud. Paul said in 1 Cor. 8:1, “Knowledge puffeth up but charity edifieth”. That is why everything must be done with love.
Simply put, I understand your feelings but the Bible says what it says. If someone takes issue with it, I’m not the one to blame. It wasn’t my idea for women to stay at home. Paul wrote Titus long before I showed up. I certainly don’t take offense to your comment and I hope you don’t take offense to what the Bible says in Titus 2. Thanks for your insights and I hope you are enjoying the blog!